This week a man called Godwin Grech admitted to writing a fake email that attempted to make Prime Minister Kevin Rudd look like he was giving his mates special treatment.
Obviously Godwin Grech (that’s him above, after the wind changed) is not very good at writing fake emails. So today I present my guide to writing a good, fake email.
Start the email in a friendly manner so as to make the reader feel comfortable right from the beginning. A casual greeting such as Waddup witchoo? is a good start. For the mothers reading this it translates to What is up with you? And for the grandmothers reading it translates to How are you, my dear?
Next we need to decide how exactly this email will be a ‘fake’. Some people like to try to trick people into sending them money. Some people like to try to make the Prime Minister look dodgy. But I like to send emails that are the equivalent to making prank calls. For example, I might pretend like I’m giving away free Hippies, which are a cross between a hippos and puppies. They’re very cute.
So I would write I am giving away free Hippies. Click here if you want some. But instead of linking through to the free Hippies (which don’t exist anyway) I would link through to something gross. Like a picture of Bear poop.
Then sign off the email as professionally as you can so as to not raise suspicions. Something like See you on the flippity-flip-flip side, From Andrew. Also put something in the subject line of the email that makes it look like a real email. Something like Pick Up a Free Hippie. Now let’s see how it reads.
From: Andrew McDonald
To: Someone else
Subject: Pick Up a Free Hippie
I am giving away free Hippies. Click here if you want some.
See you on the flippity-flip-flip side,
Take note Godwin Grech. This is how you write a proper, fake email.