BEDA #15: Ten Ways to Explain the GFC to Young Children

  1. Tell them everyone is saying KFC not GFC. It’s all about some chicken shops going out of business.
  2. Give them a game of monopoly, let them play for an hour, then take all the cash away and ask them how it feels to live in Iceland.
  3. Tell them a ‘stimulus package’ is exactly what the other kids at school say it is (Sex is easier to explain that financial systems).
  4. Tell them the $900 handout happened because Labor is in government and there’s no such thing as a GFC.
  5. Tell them the $900 handout is saved from money we didn’t give to the ABC for ten years.
  6. Tell them the $900 handout is to encourage people to buy chicken.
  7. Tell them China took away all our money. You might as well start the fear mongering when they’re young.
  8. Tell them that the GFC is just clever viral marketing by the Geelong Football Club to boost membership numbers.
  9. Tell them that ‘injection’ means ‘baster’ and ‘economy’ means ‘chook’.
  10. Tell them Hannah Montana is on TV. That’ll distract ‘em.