The Greatest Alternatives

I have a friend called Ken. He thought that he could make improvements to my book. Thanks a lot, Ken. Here are his ‘improvements’ with apologies to the fantastic cover illustrator Gregory Baldwyn.


So what do you think? Personally I’m just glad he didn’t think of The Greatest Bogger in the World because I would hate to see what changes he would have made to illustrations.


  1. Other possibilities:

    – Greatest Bagger (great person to have when visiting Aldi)
    – Greatest Blagger (boasts up a storm)
    – Greatest Blerger (set in fictional furniture store from 30 Rock)
    – Greatest Bladder (can hold in more wee than anyone else)
    – Greatest Banger (most epic dance floor hit of all time)
    – Greatest Badger (sequel to Wind In The Willows)

  2. And still more:

    – Greatest Bragger (who wrote best book EVER)
    – Greatest Blender (will it blend? dang right it will)
    – Greatest Bloater (the adventures of a waterlogged corpse)
    – Greatest Bleater (The sheep in the bottom right hand gets its own spin-off)

  3. Greatest Banker (fights the GFC singlehandedly), and then for a special adult edition, just change one letter.

    It’s cruel you being a kids author. I really have to tone it down.

  4. I love them all!

    House Numero Uno, I assume you’re referring to ‘Greatest Bunker’ – a book about the best cement hollow ever built. Nothing adult about that at all.

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