The Anatomy of the Common Beard (Revised Edition)

After the comments and feedback left on my previous post about the bits and pieces that make up one’s beard, I now present the revised edition of The Anatomy of the Common Beard.


And here’s the KEY:

PHILTRUMLINGS: The hair of the philtrum.

SIDEBURNLINGS: The hair of the sideburn.

CHEEKFUZZLINGS: The fuzzy hair of the cheek.

GINGERLINGS: The inexplicable ginger hair on blonde or brunette beard.

BERMUDATRIANGLINGS: The place where hair refuses to grow at all despite the clear geographical requirement of hair growth.

UNDERLINGS: Neck hairs.

TRANSCHESTLINGS:  The hairs that sit just under the Adam’s apple and glare enviously past the collarbone.

Thanks to Phill, Ken, #2 and Housemate Numero Uno for their input.


  1. I’ve often referred to the gingerling as the marine biologist, although this is confined to blonde with ginger beard (two tone).

    I wonder if there can’t be allowance for provisional sideburns; some (including myself) will grow their side hair long in front of the ear, in a simulation of sideburns. It’s hard to explain to barbers.

  2. This was an excellent picture.

  3. I maintain that you guys are weird.

  4. It’s a masterpiece! I will colour it in…

  5. esther

    i’ve oft wondered why there are so many sneeky fanta pants in the world, the only giveaway their beards. are they Just for Men-ing their head hair to throw girls off the trail? so that we might accidentally mate with blueys – deceit their only hope to continue the ranga race??

    no. it’s just gingerlings. phew.

  6. esther


  7. Oh, the addition of the gingerling is good. These do turn into greylings though as I can attest…

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