BEDA #14: A Private Letter to White Chocolate

Dear White Chocolate,

I would like to thank you for a wonderful Easter 2009. It was pleasure to receive you. Despite many people saying to me ‘White chocolate is not real chocolate’ I am never more thrilled than when I put your pasty, pale self in my mouth.

I know there are some disbelievers out there who say that you only exist because the Swiss needed something to do with the left over cocoa butter they had from making milk chocolate. But to those people I point out that Australian rules football was only discovered when cricketers made up a ball game to pass the winter months with. Or possibly they stole the game from the indigenous people who had been playing it for centuries before that. But the point here is that brown chocolate is like cricket – digestible, certainly pleasant, but a bit boring. Whereas white chocolate is like AFL – racy, spectacular and an obsession for those obsessed.

In summary, white chocolate I pledge to reject any lover whom ever gives me brown chocolate, legally divorce from any grandparent who tries the same and/or campaign against any government that doesn’t give me $900 to buy white chocolate. Rudd, consider yourself lucky.

Yours in loving regard,

Andrew

PS. White power!

Comments

  1. It’s not even chocolate because there’s no cocoa products in it at all.

    This is madness, madness I tells ya!

  2. White power? I haven’t checked, but I’m pretty sure Christian Lander will have written about chocolate on Stuff White People Like. And I’m pretty sure he’ll say that white people like fair trade organic single-source 70% cocoa dark chocolate. Not Milky Way easter eggs…

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